How Strong Women Leaders Learn to Trust Their Own Voice
How often do you feel confident – truly fearless – about speaking your truth? As women, we sometimes allow doubt to take up residence in our heart and mind rather than trust. Let’s consider some of the challenges associated with trusting our own voice and how to overcome those struggles.
So many of the women we work with have recently been promoted into bigger and more complex roles. Each of them struggles to some degree with the discomfort of being “at the table” - and trusting their voice with their new peer group. And they struggle even more when they have a perspective, a truth, that may be new or different.
Just last week, a client shared that she’s really struggling with confidence, and in believing that her opinion matters. She’s in a new and highly visible, critical role. She earned the promotion because of her talent, execution rigor and experience. And she’s in that transition period where trusting herself is tough. She needs to trust her own instincts, and be intentional. And she needs tools and practices that can help when doubt creeps in.
Where Does the Struggle Originate?
A past Harvard Business Review article shared information from more than 1000 female executives on the topic of finding and trusting their own voice. The authors hoped to discover why, in high-level professional settings, women struggle to assert themselves. They share this observation:
“During decades of leadership coaching, we have consistently heard women say that they feel less effective in meetings than they do in other business situations. Some say that their voices are ignored or drowned out. Others tell us that they can’t find a way into the conversation. Their male colleagues and managers have witnessed the phenomenon. In fact, several men reported seeing a female colleague get rattled or remain silent even when she was the expert at the table.”
Does this sound like it’s describing you? (Honestly, who can’t say this has been her struggle at one point in time or another?)
Here’s the truth: we’ve been there, too. That’s a big part of why we specialize in executive coaching – because we really understand. And we know that a big part of the solution is to identify where your own struggle originates. Each of us has her own story. Each story is different, and each is impactful. And - whether you feel like it today or not, YOU are the hero of that story.
So, the question is: when did you stop feeling like one?
Find Your Voice
In our Mastermind Series, we study the Hero’s Journey. As we talk about the final stage of the Hero’s Journey, we share that the hero returns with a new truth and the power to help others with this truth. It’s not about speaking truth to power; it’s not about having power over another.
It's about power from within, and the courage to claim that power. Knowing what is true and right in your own world and living into that truth.
Claim your truth. Find your voice.
When talking with the client referenced earlier, some simple coaching tips we discussed are, first, to remind yourself that having a perspective and using your voice is part of the job. And while tenure at the table is valuable, so is a fresh point of view. Bringing your voice in can be easier if you start with…. “From my perspective…” Or, when challenging a point of view: “A different perspective or another way to look at this is…”.
Our client reported back that she’s using these tactics in every meeting and it’s working. She’s learning not only to bring in her voice - even when her truth may be an outlier - but also building trust in herself.
If this idea speaks to you, we encourage you to take a three minute break and visit our blog dedicated to Claiming your truth and power. There’s not much more inspiring than a woman standing in the power of her conviction.
Find Your Five Trusted Allies
A big part of a woman learning to trust her own voice comes from the company she keeps. Author, entrepreneur and motivational speaker Jim Rohn once asserted that, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” In our experience, we find that this is so true! We’ve become increasingly discerning about who we surround ourselves with, and how we spend our time.
Be sure that you are surrounding yourself with men and women who encourage and inspire you. You get to choose who speaks truth into your life and who you allow to influence your voice. Keep your circle of influence tight and a bit exclusive. These are your allies; they will:
Believe in you even more than you believe in yourself
Push you outside your comfort zone
Tell you hard truths
Really listen
Who are your five allies and how are they contributing to your confidence?
Ready to Take it to a New Level? Join us in Italy
These tips are just the beginning of finding and trusting your own voice. It’s a process that takes a lot of patience, practice and courage. You don’t have to take this journey alone – we’re here to walk alongside you. If you are feeling ready to take the first step, we encourage you to join us on our weeklong executive development retreat in Florence Italy. Get in touch today to learn how this destination retreat could be a total game-changing experience.