Four ways to conquer Imposter Syndrome

Would you believe that Superbowl halftime diva Jennifer Lopez was quoted saying “even though I had sold 70 million albums, there I was feeling like “I’m no good at this.” And Tina Fey speaks for us all when she says that “‘The beauty of the impostor syndrome is you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of: “I’m a fraud! Oh God, they’re on to me! I’m a fraud!”

Here’s a startling – or maybe not so startling - statistic: according to the Journal of Behavioral Science, up to 70% of Americans have experienced imposter syndrome – some chronically. A quick google search for “imposter syndrome” yields more than 4 million results. In :44 seconds. Clearly, we’re all looking for solutions.

One of the things I love about our work is the exposure to leaders in different industries, in different geographies, and at various stages of their careers.In a recent two-day period, I met with four very different clients: a young, up and coming marketer; a soon-to-be C-suite executive, a highly accomplished senior leader, and a right-hand person in a small startup: all of whom were dealing with the VERY same issue: Imposter Syndrome.

To meet any one of these four people, or to talk with their peers, their leaders or their teams, you’d be shocked to find self-doubt a core characteristic. But that’s the thing with imposter syndrome, right? You can’t see it from the outside because it’s all on the inside.

It’s in our heads when we tell ourselves we don’t belong at the table with other leaders. It’s the negative stories we tell ourselves and all the reasons why we believe other people are more qualified. It’s remembering the times that we failed, or that plans fell apart: not the times that we nailed it! In our coaching and in our retreats, we help talented leaders identify strategies to address imposter syndrome.

The marketer did a quick exercise to ask others what they found unique and valuable about the work he did for the agency. The phrases that came back were both humbling and validating. He’s using this input to clarify his own personal brand positioning. He’s also started to share feedback with friends and colleagues about what he values in each of them. Paying it forward, so to speak.

The C-suite person, with strong business performance and people leadership skills, is working to remind himself of the multiple successes he’s had in his career, and the times he was able to break through barriers that others couldn’t. He’s changing the tapes in his mind to play a success loop, versus thinking of all that could go wrong in a new venture.

It was easy for the senior leader to assess the strengths and talents of her peers. She struggled to articulate her own gifts. We looked at a number of traits that she’d consistently demonstrated including out of the box thinking that led to product innovation, an ability to quickly assimilate a significant amount of information, and a commitment to her team that caused them to (a) believe in themselves and (b) work hard for the company.

And the right-hand man (in this case, a woman) recognized that she has so much to offer the company. That she had been the one placing boundaries and limitations on her work and her contributions. As she’s learned to push the boundaries at work, she’s also eliminating excuses outside the office, and is starting a photography course that’s been on her to-do list for ages!

Why is it that we can believe in others so much more readily than we can in ourselves? And how can we start to move the needle? In each of these situations, the clients were able to take tangible steps to dispel imposter syndrome:

1.     Ask trusted colleagues for data on what and why they value your contributions. Save this. Archive it. Put it on a sticky note on your desk.

2.     When going into new situations, replay your success stories in your head: have your own virtual highlight reel at the ready!

3.     Get clear on the skills that are uniquely yours, and how you add value to the team.

4.     Remove barriers. Blast through limitations. As the old saying goes, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

Four very different clients. One message: you’ve got this!

Breaking through imposter syndrome is just one way to unleash your potential. Talk to us about 1x1 coaching or join us in Santa Fe or Florence to meet other women who are changing the game.